Well, 2015 was by no means a boring or average year. As may have been apparent in my previous post, The Fellowship of the Commune was not to be. The behaviour of the two creatures of darkness that inhabited the living room quickly spiraled from annoying to illegal, and we were left with no choice but to reinvent the naughty corner and send them there with an almighty kick up the rear (by which I mean we had them evicted and waved them off with all the middle fingers at our disposal).
It started out innocently enough: the usual 2am arguments about keeping the noise down; constant requests that they please keep their filthy, revolting (probably highly infested) bong out of the living room; endless house meetings about their unsanitary kitchen habits (such as the food that was left in dishes in the sink for five days because it was a long weekend and the maid wasn't there to wipe their derrieres for them; or the raw, rotten meat that they threw out in the kitchen dustbin on a Friday morning that transformed our kitchen floor into a writhing mass of maggots by Sunday afternoon); and daily complaints about all the food they "borrowed" from us and never replaced (surprise surprise). They were also very offended that nobody wanted to share food with them, because they said they had no problem with us taking food from their fridges if we needed anything. See, the slight hitch here, is that their fridges generally contained an array of the following: a pickle jar with no pickles in it, a Tupperware (that once belonged to one of us!) with an ecosystem growing on top of some unidentifiable substance (safe to guess that it was food at some point a long while ago), a jar of solidified mustard, a bag of mushy vegetables, some mouldy bread, and something that resembled a block of cheese. Sadly, we were all on diets that did not allow us to eat these particular substances, so their generosity and desire for mutual fridge sharing really didn't benefit us that much. Despite all our complaints, however, the landlord said he was unable to get rid of them, as they had not breached the contract. This changed fairly quickly though.
After about a month of escalating requests and complaints from the other seven house mates, these two reprobates lashed out. They threatened some of the female house mates with physical violence and, of course, threw in the old favourite "my daddy's a lawyer, I'll sue you" for good measure (although we were never sure what exactly they thought they could sue any of us for), and when this didn't have the desired effect (due to us having a lawyer daddy on our side too), they turned to vandalism. They started breaking, scratching, tearing and defacing the property of the house mates who had dared to confront them about any of their misdemeanours, ultimately vandalising the one girl's car by snapping off a hubcap and slashing the fuel line to her petrol tank. Luckily, this was exactly what we needed. Since our landlord had not been able to do much on our behalf, we decided to bypass him and use the law to get our way. Enter the police. We notified their parents that we had opened four separate cases against their demon spawn, and if they didn't remove said spawn from the house, it would be taken to court and prosecuted. Being the smart bunch that we are (hehe) we had photographic evidence of everything they had done, so they didn't have so much as a big toe left to stand on.
After about a month of escalating requests and complaints from the other seven house mates, these two reprobates lashed out. They threatened some of the female house mates with physical violence and, of course, threw in the old favourite "my daddy's a lawyer, I'll sue you" for good measure (although we were never sure what exactly they thought they could sue any of us for), and when this didn't have the desired effect (due to us having a lawyer daddy on our side too), they turned to vandalism. They started breaking, scratching, tearing and defacing the property of the house mates who had dared to confront them about any of their misdemeanours, ultimately vandalising the one girl's car by snapping off a hubcap and slashing the fuel line to her petrol tank. Luckily, this was exactly what we needed. Since our landlord had not been able to do much on our behalf, we decided to bypass him and use the law to get our way. Enter the police. We notified their parents that we had opened four separate cases against their demon spawn, and if they didn't remove said spawn from the house, it would be taken to court and prosecuted. Being the smart bunch that we are (hehe) we had photographic evidence of everything they had done, so they didn't have so much as a big toe left to stand on.
With much fuss and disgraceful behaviour (from the parents too! They came in guns blazing, swearing at us and threatening all sorts of things. No wonder the kids are the way they are...), we eventually got rid of them, and proceeded to live (mostly) happily for the rest of the year. Thus ends the saga of the house mates from hell.
As for the rest of the year, it went rather swimmingly in comparison. I decided to take up Ninjutsu (Ninja) about halfway through the year. This is a form of martial arts (duh) that focuses on practical training that would be helpful in real-life situations. A little bit of history for the sake of interest - ninjas were actually assassins. Although often confused with the samurai by those not in the know, the samurai had a strict code of conduct to adhere to in terms of honour and behaviour, etc. Ninjas, not so much. This was such a fun class and I really enjoyed everything I learnt over the course of the year. Unfortunately, as with all contact sports, it was not without its drawbacks. We were doing a shuriken (ninja throwing stars) course in early December, and a stray star ended up in the side of my foot. No big deal, but I'm sure it's the coolest injury I'll ever have! How many people, in the world ever, are going to be able to say they got stabbed by a flying ninja star? Pretty much none, unless they live in ancient Japan!
Obviously, the biggest and most important part of my year was my Honours degree. I had set myself the goal of passing the course with distinction, so I really had to knuckle down and put my serious face on! (Spoiler alert, I graduated on Wednesday). I spent many nights burning the candle at both ends, often staying in the library until 3 or 4am and rolling into bed for a 2 hour nap before getting up to go to class/a test/an exam; I decorated half my bedroom wall with pages upon pages of disorders (I called it my Wall of Weird, lolsies) many of which I'm sure I developed during the course of last year; and sacrificed many social plans for the cold discomfort of my desk and textbooks (and let me tell you, some of these babies were dull!). I am totally convinced that the authors do that on purpose though, like some kind of twisted inside joke. I can just picture a group of creepy old guys with some yellow teeth (the rest are missing), crooked eyes, and balding heads sitting around a table and wheezing over the books while gleefully muttering something about "This should do the trick! Stay awake through this, why don't you? Muahahaha." Evil old bastards. Anyway, it was all worth it! Now for Masters and PhD... KIDDING! That's still a few years away...
Obviously, the biggest and most important part of my year was my Honours degree. I had set myself the goal of passing the course with distinction, so I really had to knuckle down and put my serious face on! (Spoiler alert, I graduated on Wednesday). I spent many nights burning the candle at both ends, often staying in the library until 3 or 4am and rolling into bed for a 2 hour nap before getting up to go to class/a test/an exam; I decorated half my bedroom wall with pages upon pages of disorders (I called it my Wall of Weird, lolsies) many of which I'm sure I developed during the course of last year; and sacrificed many social plans for the cold discomfort of my desk and textbooks (and let me tell you, some of these babies were dull!). I am totally convinced that the authors do that on purpose though, like some kind of twisted inside joke. I can just picture a group of creepy old guys with some yellow teeth (the rest are missing), crooked eyes, and balding heads sitting around a table and wheezing over the books while gleefully muttering something about "This should do the trick! Stay awake through this, why don't you? Muahahaha." Evil old bastards. Anyway, it was all worth it! Now for Masters and PhD... KIDDING! That's still a few years away...
Anyway, I'm sure that's more than enough reading for you all (for now). I have finally managed to catch you up on the rest of 2015. Let's see what 2016 brings, shall we?
Until next time...
Quote for the day:
"Whatever you are, be a good one." - Abraham Lincoln
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